She has no information about her father. Her mother died of cancer in 1998, leaving behind Enkhtsetseg’s oldest sister, three brothers and Enkhtsetseg, who was three. According to tradition, her sister, who is 16 years older, cared for Enkhtsetseg, while her brothers went to live with a male relative. She has not seen two of her brothers since, and though she was briefly reunited with her third brother in UB, he has since moved away and they have lost touch.
On some point her sister got married. Her husband didn’t like Enkhtsetseg, or the fact that she lived with them, so he beat her repeatedly. That led to painful fights between the sister and her husband and Enkhtsetseg started to feel responsible for her sister’s unhappiness.
Eventually the situation became unbearable, and Enkhtsetseg confided into one of her teachers. There was no institution protecting children it in their hometown, but the teacher had heard of the childcare center in UB. Enkhtsetseg went to the police, who called the care center and they agreed on the ‘transaction’.
In March 2009 the police accompanied Enkhtsetseg to the train, but she had to make the trip by herself. She had nothing on her, except a piece of paper with the address of the care center. At the station in UB, she asked a boy if he knew the way. As it turned out, he was a street boy – he walked her to the center.
Enkhtsetseg stayed in the center for five month. Her sister called repeatedly and begged her to come home. Eventually, in August, she gave in, understanding that she didn’t have much of a future in UB either.
The beatings and fights started immediately after her return. She took the abuse for two month, but in October 2009, she was back on the train, this time entirely on her own, without police escort, and returned to Ayurzana’s childcare center.
Byambaa and Byaraa were considering taking in two more children. Byaraa needed help in the house and with the children and they knew that I ‘championed’ girls, so they decided on a boy and a girl. They asked Baaskaa, if he knew a girl he liked and thought fit for their household, so he decided on Enkhtsetseg. After a short trial period they all agreed and Enkhtsetseg moved onto the farm in early January 2010.
Enkhtsetseg is a passionate cook. She has not been back to school since March 2009.
She is still excited to start school in September, but she doesn’t like UB anymore. In early spring she had to go to the hospital. After just a couple of hours, she called Byambaa, asking if he could pick her up. She told him she was homesick and didn’t want to stay overnight in the city.
The family loves her and all problems seem to be forgotten.
Enkhtsetseg is planning to invest in a phone, so she can talk to her sister.
Her sister is divorced and recently moved to UB. She lives somewhere in ger city, Enkhtsetseg is not sure where. This is a very new development, so we will see how it will unfold. Hopefully the two sisters will have an opportunity to see each other and her sister will be able make a living. At this point, it is not an option for Enkhtsetseg to live with her.
When I visited, Enkhtsetseg and I took off alone and strolled around for a bit. We tried to communicate with the words that we taught each other during my winter visit. Her English was clearly better than my Mongolian, but more importantly, we laughed a lot and had fun. Girl’s fun. At some point she called me her American mom. When I looked surprised, she explained that she is lucky, before she had no mother, but now she has a Mongolian mom and an American mom – and she gave me a big smile.
As of now, she still has to get used to life in the country. She is from a small town, so she has experience with animals, but she has never lived full-time on a farm. And she is about to become a woman, so she likes nice clothes and lip-gloss, but there is no one to bounce it off of to, in the country.
Byambaa had a heart to heart conversation with her the next morning and things seemed to get better. Baaskaa was reined in and reminded that he didn’t like living in the country for the first six months either.
When we talked about our wishes and goals for the future, she declared she wanted to be a cook. It turned out Naleikh has a cooking class, so the plan became for her to start school in September. Enkhtsetseg was excited and I could tell she was counting the months.
We had a very tearful goodbye. I am roughly the age of her older sister, and I am sure Enkhtsetseg misses her. When I left, Enkhtsetseg started crying, which made Byaraa cry, which made me cry, which prompted Byambaa to cry, so Ayurzana couldn’t help it. It was a bit of crying musical chairs.
